No one likes temper tantrums. For parents, they can be loud, increase your anxiety and your own frustration, and in turn, that could lead to bad parenting decisions. For kids, it is an outpouring of all their big emotions that they often don’t yet have the tools to physically manage.
As a parent, it is your job to help them process the tantrum and set the right precedence that allows children to grow to be emotionally intelligent, compassionate people. Unfortunately, as a parent, you are also human.
It can be challenging to always be on your best behavior, but you don’t have to be – you just need to set a good example.
Improve How You Address Each Tantrum
Tantrums between the ages of one and five are prone to be full of options and very little logic. Since kids at this age can’t yet emotionally regulate, it can be challenging to parent them through it, especially if they do something wrong, like hitting or biting another kid. It can be even more difficult with your 3-year-old not listening to you.
A good way to address each tantrum is to know what caused it, how your child has reacted to it, and what consequence is appropriate. Sometimes just being taught how to process strong emotions is all your child needs; in other times, they misbehave, and the tantrum started when you tried to set rules. Knowing why the temper started can help you understand how to address it after the tantrum has passed.
Always Wait for the Tantrum to End
You won’t get anywhere if your kid is still in a tantrum. They aren’t listening, and they don’t really understand the world outside of their own skin. Waiting them out calmly will help the emotions die down, and once they are calm, you can then discuss what happened and make the appropriate decisions from the Your Own Stimuli.
If you get personally triggered by loud noises, the best way to improve your ability to parent your child through a tantrum is to reduce that stimulus. Earplugs are a great way to do this. They don’t cut out all noise, but they can minimize the amount of loud noise that gets through. Just cutting a screaming tantrum down a few decibels can help you stay calm in the situation so that you can assess it appropriately and help your child calm down and then give the appropriate lesson or consequence, depending on what triggered the tantrum in the first place.
Remain Firm and Impartial
Just as you won’t want to use shame or physical punishment, especially before your child calms down, you also won’t want to go too far in the opposite direction and beg or plead for better behavior. When your child is in a temper tantrum, the best way to address this is by being as firm and impartial as possible. Try to remain calm, healthy, and fair in the face of extreme emotion so your kids can adapt and learn lessons from a positive place.