Getting a divorce in any situation can be challenging. However, if you and your spouse have children together, especially young children, divorcing can quickly become even more complicated and difficult. To help set the tone for the entire divorce process, you and your spouse are going to want to ensure that you initially break the news to your child in the right way. To help with this, here are three tips for breaking the news about your divorce to your children.
Talk To Everyone Together First
Once you and your spouse have decided that getting a divorce is going to be the best course of action, you should try to get your entire family together so they can all be there when you break the news about the divorce. According to Jeannette Moninger, a contributor to Parents.com, this is generally a better idea that talking to your kids individually first. This will give your whole family the chance to speak together about the situation and find comfort in each other. Once everyone’s been informed of what’s happening, you should then talk to all your children individually to ensure they’re handling the news as well as they can.
Keep Your Own Emotions In Check
When it actually comes time for you to talk to your kids, Vikki Stark, a contributor to Psychology Today, advises that you make sure you’ll be able to keep your own emotions in check. If you allow your emotions to get in the way of telling your kids, you may put them into more distress than they otherwise would have been in. Your kids will take their cues about the situation from you, in part. So if you can retain control of your emotions and try to only be there for your children, you may find that you have more success.
Don’t Over-Share Information
Depending on the age and maturity level of your children, the amount of information you share with them regarding the reasons for your divorce will vary. However, Dr. Michelle Rozen, a contributor to the Huffington Post, advises both sides to be careful not to over-share with their children. Don’t speak negatively about your ex-spouse in front of your children. Regardless of what happened in your marriage, if you still want your children to have a good relationship with their other parent, you’re going to need to make that as easy as possible for them. As a good rule of thumb, only share things about the divorce that will have a direct impact on your children’s daily lives.
If you’re getting ready to tell your children that you’ll soon be getting a divorce, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you navigate these unfamiliar waters.