You’re going to meet people from time to time that you just don’t mesh with, and that’s okay, but what if you develop a deep relationship with someone only to start noticing certain ways they have that you just don’t like? More importantly, what if these new actions are harmful to you in a number of ways, but you just don’t know how to deal with them? Some people just indulge in a CBD tincture that actually tastes good while they’re trying to dissect their personal situation and decide if that special someone in their life is as crazy as they’re making them feel! This is okay because we all need time to process things in order to know how to approach them, right? You’ve got to be calm, centered, and focus to fully evaluate situations like this and some CBD definitely isn’t going to hurt when dealing with these personality types we’re about to discuss.
This type of relationship is most common between a husband and wife, although it can very well happen between close friends or even family. What happens in most situations is that the gaslighter is very controlling and has an authoritarian personality. A gaslighter will try to alter your perception of reality or even your memory of something. At the end of the day, they want to make you feel like you’re the one going crazy when they’re really altering your perception of reality, and this is what makes this mental abuse. When it happens enough it can cause low self-esteem and basically makes the victim question every single thought that crosses their mind. A lot of times, gaslighting can occur between a husband and wife when she sees the husband cheating, sees a text message, or something else of this caliber, and the husband tells her it’s not true. He says whatever needs to be said to create a shred of doubt that will work in his/her favor. If you still can’t figure out whether or not you’ve got a gaslighter on your hands, here are a few questions:
Does this person say things that make you question your perception of certain situations?
Are they super supportive some days––building you up––only to turn around and tear you down the next day?
Does this person accuse you of “being crazy”?
This type of mental abuse isn’t as obvious as some of the others, so it might take some time to pick up on it and act on it. If you think you are a victim of gaslighting you have to stand firm in your mental convictions. Don’t second guess yourself, and most importantly, take the necessary steps to get out of that relationship.
It seems like we’ve heard this term tossed around a lot lately, so maybe you’re already a little familiar with the term “Narcissist”. It’s the super self-centered guy or girl that craves, or demands, all the attention. They also don’t handle criticism well because they think they’re superior compared to “regular folks”. This personality trait combines a lack of empathy with manipulative ways that make them very hard to be around. It might be hard to tell the difference between a narcissist and a conceited person because let’s face it, we live in that type of society these days––everyone is super into themselves and only themselves. If you’re having a hard time discerning the two ask yourself a few questions:
Are they constantly seeking compliments, praise, and admiration?
Do they react with aggression if you don’t do something for them?
Do they attempt to exploit people for their own personal gain with no regard for that person’s feelings?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you might have a narcissist on your hands. So, the next obvious question is how to deal with them? Well, if you’re going to attempt to keep this person in your life you’ll need to set boundaries, learn how to avoid arguments, and most importantly, know when it’s time to leave. Fair warning: the ego of a narcissist won’t be able to handle you walking away from them, so stay strong if and when you do leave so you don’t create a cycle you can’t get out of.
This personality trait is a little different from the previous two because of the underlying mental health issues that come into play. If you’ve ever dealt with someone who has manic depressive episodes, it can be startling and confusing to take in. In one moment, you’re both happy and looking at the world through your rose-colored lenses, and in the blink of an eye, something has changed and they’re enraged, agitated, sad, or all of the above. It’s hard to be around someone who has manic depressive episodes because it puts a strain on everyone, but it’s hard to fault some people with these bipolar issues because it’s genetic and hard to live with. If you’re dealing with someone in this situation, don’t take things personally when they blow up and have an episode, but at the same time, you’re not there to be anyone’s punching bag. You can try to support them by getting them the help they need, but if they don’t want to accept it what else can you really do?
Leaving a relationship with someone who has this type of mental illness has to be approached a little differently––with more sensitivity because you don’t want them to harm themselves in the middle of an episode.
Hopefully, this article helped you identify some key personality traits that you just weren’t able to put your finger on before. More importantly, hopefully, this information will help you understand how to survive these personality traits and get out when the time is right!